Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Toronto Maple Leafs Win Stanley Cup!

Canada was stunned Monday when it was announced that The Stanley Cup will be awarded to the Toronto Maple Leafs, possibly as early as December 6th.
The cup will be stripped from from 2008 playoff champions the Detroit Red Wings and be awarded to the Leafs, who didn't even make the playoffs.
How is this possible, Canadians ask?
Well, the Leafs have formed a coalition with eastern conference semifinalists the Montreal Canadians, and conference quarter finalists the Ottawa Senators, now outnumbering the Red Wings.
According to current Leaf coach Ron Wilson "the Red Wings have lost the confidence of the league and should hand the cup over immediately to our coalition".
NHL commissioner Gary Bettman is cutting short a European trip to try to resolve the unprecedented hockey crisis that could force a second playoff series, or see an opposing team coalition take the cup.

or another version:

Having decided that the Detroit Redwings only "technically" won the 2008
Stanley Cup, the Pittsburgh Penguins, Philadelphia Flyers and Dallas
Stars have formed a coalition demanding a three-way ownership of the
league title.

Rationale for their claim revolves around their total combined scoring
in the 2008 Semi-Finals, their total share of season ticket holders
versus the Detroit Redwings and their horror at discovering the Detroit
Redwings are using a more cost effective and efficient but non-union
made Silver polish to keep the Stanley Cup gleaming.

The three teams are being assisted in their bid to overturn the
traditional results by members of the Quebec Hockey League who have no
real interest in the success of the NHL in general but sense an
opportunity to demand Zamboni's and other critical equipment be
manufactured in Quebec. Player representatives, Team Owners and Nike are
expected to submit their proposals to Don Cherry in the next few days.

Fans and ticket holders are neither being asked nor allowed a voice in
the final decision.

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